Dangerous Foods
by texaswookie
Summary: A bit of magic on the Hellmouth gives Herbert a fighting chance against the Pack.


_Well as usual I own nothing of this craziness. Saban currently owns The Power Ranger characters and Joss/Mutant Enemy Productions the BTVS ones. I am so blaming this on the challenge issued by Katrina. Near the end I was wondering if there might not be a way to use Spider-Ham though. Suggestion for anyone else that may want to try their hand at this challenge._

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><p>Rita Repulse an evil space witch scowled as she looked down on the small town through the telescope at her moon palace. Normally she used it to spy on Zordon's followers better known as the Power Rangers when they were in their human lives in a town known as Angel Grove. Today though she had adjusted her telescope to look towards a different town. She was now spying on Sunnydale, better known as Boca Del Inferno, or the Hellmouth. It was a place where a great number of powerful magics resided. Had it not been for the fact that Zordon had chosen a small town a bit aways from the dark energy conduit, she would likely have started her attacks there. Zordon being the only one that could mount any type of decent defensive though, meant that she would rather deal with him first before taking on the rest of the world.<p>

There was currently a powerful book of spells that had been hidden there that she needed there. In order to insure that no one noticed that she was planning to take the ancient spell book she would need a distraction. While the town hero the Slayer, was only slightly more competent than the Power Pukes or Power Rangers as they preferred to be called, the Slayer was still just some teen brat with super powers that she needed to squash. The main thing she had to worry about with the Slayer though, was that she might not see her coming. Unlike the Power Brats, the Slayer didn't wear flashy clothes or perform with fancy weapons. The Slayer was as much about stealth as it was anything else. She needed something that would keep the brat distracted from what her real goal was.

As she spied from her moon palace she saw the perfect thing. The Slayer had just caught some pig and was handing it off to some adult. "Perfect." She waited till the creature was locked in its cage before she began to cast the spell she would need for this.

While she was chanting, she barely noticed that several teens in sunglasses snuck their way into the room. The teens gathered around the cage and looked down hungrily on the small animal. Not really caring what a bunch of teenaged punks were doing there, she finished the spell and sent the blast of arcane energies towards the animal. Now all she would have to do is wait for the Slayer to react to her spell.

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><p><strong>Earth<strong>

The possessed Xander Harris grinned maliciously as he saw the small pig Herbert. The so called mighty Razorback was trembling in its cage as it became the center of attention for the group of teens. It looked like they were going to feast well. He thought, as he grinned and felt this strange power coursing through him. Heidi had managed to force the lock open and now they were going to make the kill. There was a lighting bolt that seemed to come through the window and zap the pig.

"BBQ Pig." Troy declared. This set all of them to cackling in amusement.

Had a pair of Angel Grove punks been there, they could have told them that lightning bolts like that usually meant bad things and they should run away before things got scary. To bad for them though they didn't have the advantage of having the help of Bulk and Skull to warn them of what was coming. The group didn't even notice that Herbert the Pig no longer looked afraid of them. The laughter of the attitudinal teens died out as the crackling lighting covered the pig and suddenly it grew to be about 6 or 7 feet. It now looked like a giant pig head on a small human body wearing a roman centurion helmet and was somehow holding a giant knife and giant fork.

The possessed Xander Harris could only look on in shock and disbelief at what was now standing in the middle of the group. Hell, he worked alongside of the Slayer on a nightly basis and he didn't think that he had ever seen anything exactly like this thing. Vampires, witches, and demons yes. They were pretty much nightly things. A giant pig that looked like it had big enough mouth to eat him and the other members of his new group not so much though. This was almost as bad as bug teachers wanting to rape him. The group all backed away from the unknown creature in surprise. This was not the easy prey that they had originally thought it to be. The animal that had once been Herbert the Pig the official mascot for the Sunnydale High Razorbacks had been turned into the Pudgy Pig. The giant utensils that the thing was waving around didn't make it all that comforting either. In fact, they looked like they were really going to hurt if they hit them. The fork looked like it was the size of a pitchfork while the knife looked like it could double as a giant sword or a spear. Still meat was meat, and there was five of them and they were a lot more powerful than the average human was. IF a bunch of spandex clad people could take this guy on then surely they could as well.

"Let's eat." Xander told them. The others cackled in agreement as they then rushed at the giant pig like creature.

Each of the members soon found out why this creature had managed to get the upper hand against the Power Rangers though, as they were almost casually tossed around the small room by the creature. The teens in the room were far from normal though, as they easily twisted with the throws and landed on their hands and and the balls of their feet and then rose back up to try again. Herbert the Pudgy Pig grabbed Troy by the back of his jacket and slung him through the door and into the hall. The possessed teen groaned a bit as he pulled himself up. He scowled as he saw all of the students that were now staring at him and the door that he had just crashed through. They were saved from any response that he might give, as the other members of the Pack came flying through the room each of them hitting the wall before coming to a stop.

Xander groaned as he pushed the other members of the pack off of him. He looked up and saw that Principal Flutie and Vice Principal Snyder were making their way towards him from one end of the hallway. Coming from the other end was the short powerhouse that was Buffy Summers the Slayer. Then of course there was Herbert the Pudgy Pig that was forcing its way through the doorway. He wasn't sure how the thing was planning in getting through. There was no way that something with that big of a head was fitting through the doorway. He found the answer, when he saw the creature break the doorframe as it came through. It was like watching the kool aide man bust through a wall on t.v. Only this thing wasn't as harmless looking or offering him a drink. This one actually looked annoyed with him.

"Hey!" Buffy yelled, as she intercepted the incoming pig with crossed arms blocking the downward strike that would have taken Xander down. "That's my Xander, go find your own." She informed it and then kicked out sending the creature stumbling back.

Xander smirked at the giant pig as he finally climbed to his feet. It looked like the odds were back in their favor if the Slayer was going to be on their side. While it kind of annoyed him that even when he had all this power he was still having to be saved by her. He was also grateful that the blonde was there to help him as well though. Between her and the Pack they would be more than able to take out this thing. Maybe they could even bond somewhat. If Buffy could see that he was now able to hold his own against the various monsters that she had to fight, then maybe she would see him as more than one of the girls or something equally humiliating. This was just the kind of chance that he had been hoping for ever since he had gotten this power. The chance to prove himself.

"Don't suppose that you could tell me what's going on here?" Buffy asked, interrupting Xander's daydreams of the Slayer thanking him. Had the Slayer been capable of mind reading she likely would have blushed at the primal thoughts of her friend. Fortunately she was more focused on the large creature that was standing in the hallway.

"Well you remember Herbert the pig?" Xander asked her curiously while flashing her an amused grin.

"As in the cute little pig that happens to cos-play as the ferocious Razorback or something like that?" Buffy asked curiously. Her eyes widened slightly as she realized what he was saying. "Oh come on your joking." She pleaded of her friend.

"That's a big no." Xander returned. "Say hello to Herbert the Pudgy Pig 2.0." He explained, while waving his hand at the monster animal.

"But he was so cute and non Hellmouthy looking earlier." Buffy complained to her friend. "Did you and your new friends do something to him?" She questioned him suspiciously.

"So not our fault." Xander returned defensively. Not that he was going to admit that they had been planning on eating the pig either. Something told him that she wouldn't be overly impressed with that little bit of information. "He just kind of sprouted out of his cage and did this." He noted, waving towards the various scrapes that he and the others had picked up when attacking the giant pig.

"Fine, but we are so talking about what you were all doing in that room later." Buffy told him coolly, not completely convinced of his innocence. Considering the way that he had been acting for the last couple of days, she figured she had reason to despite what Giles had told her.

"Yeah whatever, can we worry about the monster pig first though." Xander shot back at her. "We might need a plan to fight it."

Buffy smirked at her friend. "I am the plan." She told him cockily, as she rushed the creature and began swinging and kicking at the creature.

Xander whistled a bit as he watched Buffy do a reenactment of Rocky's original training regimen. Herbert the Pudgy Pig was actually getting pushed back some from the assault from the Slayer. It had taken at least two of their group to do anything similar, and they had still been tossed out of the room like a bunch of naughty puppies. Herbert the Pudgy Pig managed to head but her and sent her sprawling into Xander. The youth grinned a bit as he managed to catch her. The monster then did something that none of them expected, it took a deep breath and blew through its nose. The gust of wind that came from that was strong enough to knock everyone down. With the way clear Herbert the Pudgy Pig made a run for it. Getting away from all of the predators that were gathered against it.

The Pack scowled as they watched their meal run away on its short and knobby legs. That thing was big enough, that it would have been able to fill all of them and keep them full for a few days at the least.

The blonde groaned and looked around. She really didn't want to have to deal with monster pig snot or anything like that. Knowing her luck she would walk right through some of it if she wasn't paying close enough attention. She was relieved to see that there didn't appear to be any around though. Buffy turned to look at the group of teens that had just fought at her side. "Explain." She ordered, glaring at Xander darkly.

Xander turned to look at the others only to see that they had slunk off while the two Alphas battled it out. Flutie and Snyder were both passed out as their brains could no longer keep up with the craziness that was going on, and the hallway had cleared out during their fight.

Rita cackled as she took the book from its shelf. Without anyone to guard it, stealing the spell book had been so much easier. She probably could have had some of her other minions do it, it was so easy. She slipped out of the side entrance and smiled as she saw her Pudgy Pig monster running through the parking lot. Waving her wand at the creature it returned to its original form. No use in letting Zordon or his power punks know that she had been here. She then disappeared in a ball of light to return to her moon palace.

As for Herbert the Pig, he ran off and out of Sunnydale as fast as he could. He had thought Mascot work was easy, obviously it was not. He wondered if he could get his cousin to get him a job. She was in show business as well, and would understand the falling on hard times. Yes, to go and see his Broadway Star of a cousin. Even if he did think that her choices in mates was bad. He was so green and slimy all the time.


End file.
